Redefining “Seducer”

(photo: jpcolasso)

Total Time of Reading: 6 minutes. Just Bold Text: 3 minutes

Redefining “Seducer”

Describing a man as a “seducer of women” typically doesn’t hoist his image in today’s society. “Seduction” is commonly thought to go hand in hand with manipulation, sin, gaudiness, misogyny and shame.  Yet I’d debate quite the opposite. Religious fanatics, prigs and those that can only whisper the word sex, be prepared to hate me through this post… Continue reading

Finding Your “Vimbase”

Compassvim(Photo: Calsidyrose)

Total Time of Reading: 3 minutes.

Finding Your Vimbase

Most men chase women hoping to find happiness. They don’t seem to be enjoying life, but if they were to meet the “right girl”, excitement, passion, adventure, love and intimacy would conjure in abundance, and life would be set. Many men may really enjoy their life, yet when it comes to their relations with women their whole approach defeats their ability to make something beautiful happen.

This type of man believes that he may not be great at flirting, getting past his fear of rejection, expressing his passions or leading sexual interactions, yet if he could just “get in the door” with a woman or “meet the right one”, then the woman would see him for who he really is. No judgments being past here… I feel like every man and woman has been guilty of this mindset, including myself.

Yet this mindset often leads us to a place where we’re only passionate, excited, strong, and seeing ourselves of value when we’re in good terms with women. It leads to us worrying about what to say in the beginning, in hopes of us getting to an end point where it’s “safe” to express ourselves as we really are.

Sorry, but it doesn’t work like that. Women don’t long to be with a man that’s dependent on her for him to be himself. Nor do women meet men thinking: “This man is really quiet, seemingly uninterested, way to serious and nonsexual, BUT, I wonder what he’d be like after 6 dates… Hhmmmhh?” Continue reading

Becoming an “Enlightened Asshole”

I'm An Asshole

(photo: Cait Opperman)

Total Time of Reading: 8 and 1/2 minutes. – (Bold Script Only: 2 minutes)

Becoming an “Enlightened Asshole”

“Just be confident.” How many times have you heard that one? That saying use to make me feel so aggravated. Fu** your, “be confident”. I feel it’d be the same as asking Babe Ruth how to hit home runs. With his likely response being “I don’t know, just swing…” In the beginning, it doesn’t feel that simple.

Many of us have tried “just swinging” and have tried just being confident. Yet when you don’t have confidence, and you don’t hit home runs with women, “just” is such an understatement when put in front of the words: “be confident”. For many of us, it takes more understanding.

What about this one… “Just be a jerk, women like jerks.”  Whether you’re a woman or man reading this, we’ve all been guilty of saying this at some point: “The bitches/assholes always get the guys/girls.” Though many gurus avoid this subject, there is a lot of truth behind that statement. Yet some of the qualities that make jerks, or bitches successful with the opposite sex may surprise you. In this post I’m going to break down one of the key things that brings jerks and bitches success in attraction. And you can harness it without having to be a prick or crazed drama chick. Consider this post your training wheels to more confidence in a way that makes sense. And in a way that avoids you becoming a complete ass. Continue reading

Going Pro In “Social Poker”

(photo: Kozumel)

Total Time of Reading: 3 minutes.

Going Pro in “Social Poker”.

 An essential key to winning big with the opposite sex…

            There is no such thing as 100% success in seduction. “Pickup” is messy. “Guru’s” claiming they can teach you to attract any stranger without getting rejected are conning you. But what you can do is improve your ratio of quality seductions vs. clueless rejections.

Most people play the “social lotto”, relying on blind luck and happenstance to win with the opposite sex. Low effort, low cost, yet small chance of reward. With the right coaching you can switch from a blind “social lotto” player to professional “social poker” player.  Where your actions, intellect and decisions have the capacity to change your life.

Your odds can be improved to the point that your life never again looks the same. Your life will open in ways you couldn’t even guess. You could easily top the best memories of your life by developing yourself in the art of seduction and connection. But none of it will happen quickly if you easily get caught up on the rejections. This article will give you an important understanding of rejection in your dating life. An understanding that will liberate you to take more action, have more confidence, all while stressing a little less.

Imagine meeting a man that’s striving to become the worlds best poker player. He has read dozens of books and taken some classes. His knowledge seems endless, but there’s a catch… He takes every loss personally. He believes that it’s possible to win every hand, every time, and until he attains that level of mastery, he isn’t willing to risk seeing a game through. Every time he starts playing, he quits the moment he looses one hand.

            I’m sure you’d shake your head in confusion if you met a person like this. Why is he getting hung up over loosing a small hand? “You’re playing a game that involves risk!” you’d say. It’s part of the game. Just win bigger and more often and you’re doing great. You understand that becoming successful in poker without loosing some bets is not possible. Even the Pro’s have losses amongst their winnings.

            This is the same as striving for the most extravagant skills in seduction and romance, yet never being willing to see rejection. Rejection is a cost of the game. Luckily self-reliance is your cash. The cost of rejection dramatically decreases as you begin to value your own actions more than you value others’ opinions of you. Realizing that not every loss is indication of you doing something wrong will permit yourself to take more action. When you embrace rejection rather than opting out at first sight of it, you’ll reap more rewards, and stay in the game longer to see the big wins.

If you want to make all romance and erotic movies look like a joke, then start with the understanding that rejection happens to us all and is unavoidable. Sure whatever you see as an extravagant win can be developed:


  • Finding a woman can see as a life partner and having her desire you in return.
  • Sex with an abundance of attractive people.
  • Heartfelt authentic connection with a person of inspirational character and beauty.
  • Passionate sex created within 30 minutes of meeting a stranger.
  • Successful Open Relationships or Custom Relationships.
  • Begin able to say “I understand women better than the understand themselves” and having women agree with you.
  • 5+ dates in 1 day.
  • Having women you’ve had interactions with continue to respect and like you even after breaking up. And having women thank you for opening them up emotionally, physically, sexually, socially, etc.
  • Always maintaining your sense of self, and no longer loosing emotional and mental stability due to a woman’s actions or opinions.
  • The skillset to create dating and social circles within 2 days of landing anywhere without knowing anyone (social fluidity).
  • The security of knowing that getting a date will never be a problem for you again.
  • Never again hearing “I love you like a brother/sister” or “let’s just be friends”


You can define what winning big is to you. All of it’s possible, but not without facing rejection. Let your first big win be about overcoming fear by relating to it differently instead of avoiding it entirely. Life, wisdom, courage, and beauty exist within rejection, and definitely just beyond it.

So, next time you hear yourself saying “but I might get rejected”. Follow it up with “No shit! I’m playing social poker. The more I’m willing to see and grow from my losses, the more I’ll see wins.” Rejection itself will always be a part of it. Onlookers may scoff at your “loss”, but they’re the jackasses for not having courage to sit at the table. Raise the stakes in your interactions so you can raise the winnings in your life.


~Ander Adams

The Traveler’s Curiosity


Total Time of Reading: 5 and 1/2 minutes

The Traveler’s Curiosity

There’s a certain being that attracts attention most all the time. They turn heads consistently, they get conversations to pause and observe. A being that makes some of the toughest people feel, a depressed person feel warmth. I’m talking about a toddler. Think about it. What makes a toddler, so capturing to our eyes? Not all toddlers are cute, yet even the non-cute tend to have the same effect. Yet all other cute things don’t always have the same magnetic pull. Toddlers have something special. They send a glisten into your eye similar to the one in theirs. The way they look at the world anew in almost every moment. Their sense of adventure and lively curiosity brings more life to yours in the moment you pause to watch them.

Yet, interestingly they start to loose that magnetic pull as they get a little older, around that time when that curiosity and wonderment is replaced with shyness. The glisten in their eyes gets replaced with more worry and cautiousness. They are still cute. But that ability to make a whole room pause to pay attention stops. It’s an attractive quality we are all born into. It’s truly part of who we are naturally. That sense of wonderment and exploration Continue reading

Making an Effective “Plan of Immersion”


(photo: Amir Kuckovic)

Total Time of Reading: 4 minutes

Making an Effective “Plan of Immersion”

When learning how to seduce, your ability to take action persistently is one of the most important traits to develop. This post is really valuable if you continually fail to follow through with your game plan. If this is the case with you, the lessons in this post can dramatically take time off your learning curve. You’ll be able to apply it to your development with women as well as any habit you’re trying to instill. Now, pickup artist’s and many guru’s will tell you to just get over your fear and force yourself to take action. If you can do this great! If you have trouble doing this, then step back and re-evaluate your approach to your practice.

In learning anything, immersion brings you the quickest results. This is especially true in developing character traits, which is really what seduction is all about. But trying to “Approach 20 women tomorrow” when you don’t even talk to 1 a week, can be more unrealistic than an out of shape person saying they’re going to run 6 miles everyday starting tomorrow.

In habit forming and character trait development, immersion is key. A comedian doesn’t become funny by mentally boring himself 98% of the time, then occasionally expressing a joke he had stored away. A comedian is constantly interacting with life in a humorous way. He’s mentally asking, “What’s funny about this?”  “How could I word this to be hilarious?” His mental process is humor. He developed that humor by interacting with everything through that mental state.  Now some guys can force themselves to approach 20 groups of women in a day. Some women can quickly make the switch to courageously expressing their desires. Others plan it yet never follow through. If this is your situation, make an Effective Plan of Immersion instead. So the basics are: Continue reading