Finding Your “Vimbase”

Compassvim(Photo: Calsidyrose)

Total Time of Reading: 3 minutes.

Finding Your Vimbase

Most men chase women hoping to find happiness. They don’t seem to be enjoying life, but if they were to meet the “right girl”, excitement, passion, adventure, love and intimacy would conjure in abundance, and life would be set. Many men may really enjoy their life, yet when it comes to their relations with women their whole approach defeats their ability to make something beautiful happen.

This type of man believes that he may not be great at flirting, getting past his fear of rejection, expressing his passions or leading sexual interactions, yet if he could just “get in the door” with a woman or “meet the right one”, then the woman would see him for who he really is. No judgments being past here… I feel like every man and woman has been guilty of this mindset, including myself.

Yet this mindset often leads us to a place where we’re only passionate, excited, strong, and seeing ourselves of value when we’re in good terms with women. It leads to us worrying about what to say in the beginning, in hopes of us getting to an end point where it’s “safe” to express ourselves as we really are.

Sorry, but it doesn’t work like that. Women don’t long to be with a man that’s dependent on her for him to be himself. Nor do women meet men thinking: “This man is really quiet, seemingly uninterested, way to serious and nonsexual, BUT, I wonder what he’d be like after 6 dates… Hhmmmhh?”
The woman you most desire to be with has excitement and passion in her life regardless of you being in her life or not, and she’s looking for the same in her man. Women are all too familiar with men that are emotional leeches trying to find happiness through them rather than share it. Women are all too familiar with men looking to them for give clues of which direction is safest to lead and connect through. Rather, a woman yearns for a man that is happy, passionate and strong in his sense of purpose regardless of his state of success with women. A woman wants a man that leads from a place of self-passion and resolution that stems from his own values rather than from the clues she gives him.

This is where the name “Vim-base” came from. For you to attract, seduce and truly love the woman you most desire, it requires for you to find your enthusiasm and vigor within yourself rather than searching for it through the woman. It’s asking to share happiness and passion with the woman instead of subconsciously requesting her to supply you with direction, purpose, and passion in your interactions with women, and with life.

So you may read this and say “But I do have passion and direction in life! And I do love my life!” Which may very well be the case. But few men carry that passion over to their interactions with women (especially initial interactions). When you talk to a woman you’re attracted to, do you make a move because the woman gives you signs to feel like it had a higher chance of success than usual (rather than from your own desires and intentions)? When you talk to a woman do you express your passions and authentic thoughts or do you spend more time trying to find out what “safe conversations” and comments are available to connect through? Does a woman rejecting you, or not texting you back, ruin your day? Do you strive not to offend or do you stand to connect through mutual authentic self-expression?

Instead of trying to uncover what words or actions are the most ideal to use. Begin exploring what values and characteristics you stand for in your interactions with women. Let’s get you your own Base of Vim about life and your interactions with women… When you find your own reasons and resolution to why you want to interact with a woman you no longer have to worry about “the right words to say”, your vim-base will provide that for you.

“When it comes to attracting the opposite sex… Knowing the right words to say isn’t nearly as important as having the strength in reason to say it.”

Like always I appreciate people that take action in improving their interactions with themselves and with the world around them. For this reason, email me at for a free, more in depth version of this writing, filled with multiple exercises to implement this into your life, and most effectively find your Vimbase.

~Ander Adams

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